His Secret
by bb1019
Summary: Tyler Lockwood is living a lie...will it destroy him or will he arise victorious? this is my baby...please be gentle
1. Chapter 1

His Secret

Everyone has secrets, everyone lies at some point in their lives and everyone feels lonely…. but Tyler Lockwood feels like his issues are way bigger than anyone else's. He feels like he carrying the whole world on his shoulders and that burden is pretty fucking heavy. Or maybe it's just his father's impossible expectations of him that feel so overwhelming and exhausting. He's not sure what's worse: trying to be the perfect son for his asshole father and emotionally frozen mother or having the reputation of the douche bag jock who can kick anyone's ass and fuck any girl. Tyler has become the master of pretending, he plasters a smirk on his face and walks with his tough guy stride and everyone automatically respects and admires him. On the outside, Tyler is calm, collected and in control…on the inside he's screaming, only no one can hear him.

He likes sports because of being on a team; it makes him feel connected to others, to have other boys around his age _need_ him to help the team win. Because they do need him, and that's makes him feel wanted and good about himself. He takes pride in the fact that he's an excellent athlete. His teammates admire him and congratulate him way more than his own parents do so he thinks of them as a surrogate family.

Alcohol doesn't exactly taste great but it does help him to relax and it drowns out the loudness in his head for a while. It also helps him feel more confident, so when there's a really hot girl eyeing him he just walks over and within minutes he's usually making out with her. After a few beers, Tyler feels free and the world goes from being black and white and shitty to full of color and beauty…at least for a while. Tyler likes being drunk, he can blame his bad behavior on being a lousy drunk and people forgive him for whatever asshole thing he did…because he's Tyler Lockwood, a star athlete and he's allowed to fuck up.

Tyler is good at sex, at least all the girls he's been with tell him that, but what none of the those girls knows, is that Tyler's never had sober sex. If he knows there's a possibility of him getting laid, he drinks. It makes it easier; because Tyler doesn't feel anything for the girls he fucks. He tries to, he tries to feel something, _anything_, but he can't. He kisses them, touches them, makes them moan and gasp but he never feelings anything. They do though, they're always asking afterward if they can see him again and does he have a girlfriend and he acts like an asshole and tells them it's over. Sometimes they cry, sometimes they get dressed quickly and leave telling him what an ass he is and sometimes they sit there in stunned silence. Tyler's body functions on autopilot when it comes to sex, but his brain and heart are never involved.

3 weeks ago something happened, Tyler's not really sure how it happened but this where his secrets and lies started bubbling out of control. He was at a party in the woods, a beer in hand and flirty smile firmly in place; Tyler was feeling good. There was a hot blond with amazing legs and a nice ass eyeing him and he was downing his beer to get to that glittery place quicker when someone caught his eye. His name was Jason, he was a football player from a rival team 3 towns over, and much to Tyler's confusion Jason was smiling at him. Tyler forgets the blond and makes his way over to Jason, he's not sure why, but he feels a strong urge to talk to him. Jason hands him another beer and they drink and talk and Tyler realizes through his glittery drunken haze that Jason is flirting with him, and what's weirder; he's flirting back.

There's no denying that Jason is hot; deep blue eyes, a strong jaw with smooth cheeks, full lips, freckles, short brown hair, broad shoulders and a lean muscular frame. He has an infectious laugh and when he pulls a joint out is back pocket, Tyler follows him deeper into the woods for privacy. They find a small clearing and Jason leans against a tree as he lights up, Tyler finishes off his beer and takes a hit off the joint when Jason passes it to him. They pass the joint back and forth and then Jason leans forward with the smoke in his mouth, Tyler takes the hint and opens his lips slightly and allows Jason to shot gun the smoke. Their faces are mere inches apart and Tyler suddenly feels very warn despite the fact that it's freezing outside. Jason is looking at him funny and before Tyler knows what's happening…..Jason softly kisses him. The kiss is innocent and quick and it sends Tyler's head spinning. He's never kissed another boy before but suddenly he wants Jason to kiss him again. Something awakens in him that he can't explain because he's never felt anything so powerful before. Jason must see something in Tyler's eyes that encourages him because he kisses him again and this time Tyler kisses back. It's honestly the best kiss Tyler's ever had his whole body is humming with warm energy. Jason pulls him closer and they make out against the tree for a few minutes before Tyler pulls away, he's feeling a million things at once but currently he has an erection that embarrasses him. Jason doesn't seem to mind as he leans forward and gently cups Tyler through his jeans, stroking slightly. Jason looks pleased with himself and Tyler suddenly feels like bolting. So he does. He pulls away from Jason and stumbles out of the woods with clumsy drunken steps.

The party is still going on as Tyler stumbles through, ignoring several people who call his name heads towards Matt asking him to give him a ride as he's too drunk to drive. Matt being the sweet nice guy that he is says of course he will and drops Tyler off at his house. Tyler slowly makes it to his bedroom, tumbles into bed and passes out. He dreams of Jason and the kiss and bolts up right in bed drenched in sweat. He also has an erection and in that moment he seriously hates being a guy. He jerks off in the shower and tries not to think of Jason and fails. Tyler throws himself back into the flow of school again and tries to forget that night in the woods with Jason, although Jason hasn't forgotten and somehow got his number. Jason calls him and Tyler marvels at how calm and relaxed he sounds considering. Jason wants to hang out again and Tyler doesn't know what he wants. Jason tells him there's gonna be another party that weekend and that he hopes to run into Tyler there. Tyler says he may or may not show up, but they both know what that translates into and Tyler has to force himself not to look for Jason in the crowd of drunk and high teenagers around him. Tyler's on his second beer and he's starting to get twitchy in his anticipation when he suddenly turns to face Jason who is smiling at him and briefly flashing the joint he has with him. Once again they end up stoned and making out against a tree, Jason has Tyler pressed up against it and he's grinding into him. Tyler allows himself to get lost in the sensation he's feeling because he's _never_ felt _this_ with anyone and he's terrified to lose it. Jason's a good kisser and he tastes faintly of mint and Tyler knows in the back of his head that this is insane. First of all, he's not gay, and secondly he's drunk and high so this doesn't count. Tyler is bothered by his submissive role in the making out and switches his position with Jason and takes control of the kissing. This feels more natural to him; being dominant, despite the fact that his submissive partner is another guy.

Tyler's life turns into lies quicker than he's prepared to handle. He lies to his friends about where his hicky's are coming from, he lies to his parents, and in particular, his father, about what he does on the weekends and with whom, but the worst part is he lies to himself. He tells himself that this _thing_ with Jason is just for fun and that it doesn't mean anything. He and Jason start having sex and it's rough and quick every time. He fucks Jason but never lets Jason fuck him; he tells himself its less gay that way, even though that doesn't make much sense in his head. Jason lets himself be dominated and lets Tyler be rough. Tyler pours all his frustration into the sex and when he cums he always feels a twinge of disgust with himself which always leads him to finding a hot girl at a party and fucking her. Unfortunately he only feels worse after every girl he's with, he tries so hard to be interested in them but he just feels relief when it's over and he can leave.

Tyler doesn't think he can take any more confusion but the universe must not give a shit because he finds himself checking out Jeremy Gilbert one afternoon. Tyler finds himself eyeing Jeremy's broad shoulders, his shaggy hair and his deep puppy eyes. His concludes his checking out with Jeremy's ass and arms, which are both really nice. But this all totally freaks him out so he shoves Jeremy out of his way in the hallway and feels better. Jason texts him that night and asks him if he has time to hang, Tyler knows what this is really code for and there's a long pause before he agrees. He brings beer with him and meets Jason in the woods: Tyler fucks Jason against a tree and watches in confusion as Jason's short hair morphs into shaggy locks that remind him of Jeremy Gilbert. When Jason tilts his head back and tries to capture Tyler in a kiss Tyler watches in shock as Jeremy Gilbert's face looks at him through lust heavy eyelids. Tyler panic's and he stops thrusting his hips into Jason's ass. Jason asks him what's wrong but Tyler can't speak, he simply tucks himself back into his jeans and tells Jason he has to go. Jason follows him however demanding to know what's wrong but Tyler doesn't know how to communicated how confused and scared he so he just walks faster but Jason blocks him. Tyler warns him to get out of his way, but Jason scoffs as this threat isn't so scary considering he and Tyler are the same height and roughly the same weight, an even match physically. Tyler says he's just not in the mood, which makes Jason cup him through his jeans and remind Tyler of the erection he still has. They both know Tyler's in the mood but since Tyler has zero intension of telling Jason his personal business he keeps his lips pressed tight together and looks at his shoes while Jason questions him. Finally, Jason sighs, Tyler looks up to see a look of understanding and patience on Jason's face, which pisses him off. He doesn't want pity or understanding, he just wants to feel okay, so in order to regain some normalcy inside his head he grabs Jason and practically flings him against a tree as he shoves both of their pants down roughly and starts to fuck him, again. He closes his eyes and leans his head against Jason's shoulder as he increases in speed, Jason is a moaning grunting mess but Tyler tunes him out and allows himself to sink further into his fantasy of Jeremy Gilbert.

Tyler's life is slowly turning to shit: his grades are slipping, he can't focus during football practice, he's drinking and smoking more, he's now suffering from intense headaches that make his skull feel like it's gonna split in two and to top it all off, his father is thoroughly disgusted with him. He sits at the dinning room table as his father yells and rants calling him a loser, pathetic, stupid and a bunch of other things. He makes Tyler feel worthless and small. Finally it seems his father has had enough yelling and tells him to get out of his sight. Tyler gladly obliges, grabs his car keys and drives. He drives to one of the many party sights that he regularly attends and parks his car. He then slams his hands on the dashboard and screams. After a few minutes he pulls out his cell phone and calls Jason. All he tells him is where he is and hangs up. Jason arrives 15 minutes later, and they both clamber into the back of Jason's car and start making out roughly. Tyler goes to unbutton his pants while Jason does the same. Within seconds Tyler has a condom on and his shoving his way into Jason who winces and grunts at Tyler's lack of tenderness. Tyler thrusts and thrusts, he knows he's being way too rough and that Jason probably isn't enjoying any of it but he can't seem to stop. He's so frustrated and confused and hurt, his head is spinning with too many conflicting emotions. His biggest problem currently is that he's been having sex with another boy now for weeks and he hasn't so much as flirted with a girl in a while. Tyler doesn't want to be gay, but he terrified that he might be and worse yet what he's father will do if he ever finds out. He's also pissed with himself for jerking off in the showers after practice ( when he thought everyone had already gone) and is caught by Jeremy fucking Gilbert who was in there for who knows what. It was humiliating and just thinking of it makes Tyler thrust harder. Tyler pauses when he feels Jason's warm hand on his cheek, he and Jason don't typically touch each other with such tenderness.

Jason looks at him for a moment and stops Tyler's attempts to keep going. When Jason asks him to look at him he seriously debates with himself if he can. Jason cups his chin and forces their eyes to meet, Jason's eyes stare deeply into his and suddenly everything gets to be too much a Tyler feelings like he's going to cry. He tries to stop himself, calling himself a pussy for being so weak, but despite his resistance a tear slips wetly down his cheek. Jason watches it and then leans up to lick it away. He gently kisses Tyler's cheek and lips . Tyler is taken aback by the tenderness of the touch, as he is unaccustomed to it. Jason pushes him away gently and switches their positions. Tyler's not sure why he's letting this happen but he does none-the-less. Jason is gentle, his caresses Tyler's face, his arms and chest and back. His touch is sweet and considerate. Tyler closes his eyes and unconsciously wraps his arms around Jason's back and allows himself to be touched and made love to.

Tyler comes home late; he tip toes up stairs to his bedroom and locks the door. He crawls into bed feeling weird and vulnerable but then its understandable considering he let another guy inside him for the first time. He surprised himself in that he didn't dislike it: being the submissive partner during sex. Yes, at first it was slightly painful and uncomfortable but Jason was so gentle that it didn't matter so much. He kissed Tyler the whole time and caressed his body like Tyler was fragile and breakable. Tyler's never had sex like that before, so yeah, he's feeling a little weird. He also wonders for the billionth time why he keeps fantasizing about Jeremy Gilbert.

The dreams are more vivid and realistic now. He can almost taste Jeremy's breath, feel his skin and hear him moan. The time Jeremy caught him jerking off in the locker room shower, Tyler was jerking off to him, he was _this close_ to saying Jeremy's name out loud. Jeremy had stood there, eyes wide, his face turning a deep red, while Tyler quickly turned around and told Jeremy to leave. Both boys hadn't forgotten the incident as neither could look each other in the face now.

_The warm water cascades down Tyler's back and shoulder's, he tilts his head back into the spray of the water and closes his eyes. He feels thoroughly relaxed. He's alone in the locker room, practice was brutal and he's tired and has zero desire to go home. Maybe he'll call Jason and see if they can hook up for a quickie. He rubs his finger tips through his hair and massages his scalp, he got one of those head-splitting headaches again today. It was during English and he thought he was going to black out from the pain of it. The headaches are happening more frequently now, each one slightly more intense than the last. 'Maybe I should go see a doctor about this', he thinks. He figures something can't be normal when it hurts this bad. Why is his life turning so shitty, why can't he just feel okay for once? Tyler realizes that he hasn't felt okay for a long time and that depresses him even more. Tyler peeks an eye open and looks around the locker room shower, he knows he's alone, but he just wants to be sure before tries a very private method of relaxation. His right hand slow creeps down his chest and when he finally cups his semi-erect cock he groans softly. Closing his eyes he at first pictures Jason. Jason has a really nice body, he's a good kisser and a decent fuck. Tyler thinks about to all the times they've hooked up and he grows harder at the memories. After he's fully erect and has a rhythm set, he goes further into his fantasy and pictures Jeremy Gilbert. He thinks of Jeremy's eyes, how deep and soulful they are. He think of Jeremy's hair, it's gotten rather shaggy recently and it hangs in his face most of the time making him look so young despite his strong built frame. He thinks of Jeremy's lips, they look soft and inviting. He thinks of Jeremy's open and slightly goody smile, of his firm but plump ass. His so close to coming when he hears a gasp, his eyes pop open to spot Jeremy red faced and mouth open in stunned shock. Tyler wants to die in this moment. He's completely mortified and Jeremy looks about the same. Jeremy shakes his head, quickly jams his eyes shut and starts apologizing. Jeremy starts walking backwards, hits a wall, spins around still muttering apologizes and leaves. Tyler stands under the spray, he's facing the white tile wall and trying to calm himself with deep breathes. This has got to be the worst day he's had in a while. _

The big red C- glares at Tyler from the corner of his paper. He's dad is going to freak and that means nothing good for Tyler. He shoves the paper into his backpack and is the fist out of the classroom when the bell rings for lunch. The cloudy day outside totally reflects his mood as he stomps to his car in the parking lot. It's only after he's inside the vehicle that he breath's again. He goes digging for his I-pod and once the ear-buds are in and the angry music fills his head does he readjusts his seat and cross his arms behind his head. He watches unseeing out of his windshield at his classmates at lunch and he feels so utterly disconnected from them. He absentmindedly searches through the crowd and finally finds Jeremy Gilbert. He's sitting alone, his eyes closed, as he too, listens to his music. Just looking at Gilbert makes Tyler hard, so behind the protection of the tinted windows of his car, he jerks off watching Jeremy zone out in his own little world.

"I wanna take you somewhere sometime" says Jason as he tries to regulate his breathing

They've just finished particularly intense round of fucking and now they're lying on their backs, their naked bodies glisten with sweat, Tyler blinks drowsily, his brain slowly coming back on line after his intense orgasm. He feels Jason shift next to him and his turns his head slowly coming to face Jason sleepy smile as he props himself up on his side to gaze at Tyler, because that's exactly what he's doing…gazing, almost lovingly.

Jason reaches out and gentle trails his index finger down Tyler's toned chest and stomach, Tyler just watches Jason's face; he sees a complex blend of emotions play out on the beautiful face, he sees things that freak him out and send off warning bells in his head. He and Jason has a silent agreement: neither one would get attached, this _thing_ they had was casual, a hook up, nothing more, only, by the looks of it, Jason is reading far too much into what they have.

"You're really man pretty Lockwood" says Jason fondly smirking

"Whatever. I need to get go'n" replies Tyler in a dismissive tone, he makes to get up but Jason rolls on top of him, pinning him down

"Get off me" says Tyler coldly

Jason looks at him for a moment before he leans down and kisses Tyler. The kiss is an odd mixture of gentle and passionate and at first Tyler is unresponsive but gradually he gives in and opens his mouth to allow Jason in. The kiss gains in passion and Tyler opens his eyes a brief moment and then pulls back in shock at Jeremy Gilbert blissful face looking back at him.


	2. Chapter 2

His Secret

Chap 2

To all those who are reading and reviewing: thanks, I really appreciate it. Please keep it up…it helps me be a better writer and it gives you a place to voice what you want. It's a win win.

Disclaimer: I don't own it…bla bla bla…..no profit made either…..

Warnings: M

It's weird, for the first time Tyler and Jason didn't have sex in the back of a car, or against a tree or some other weird and uncomfortable place. They're in a cheap motel on the outskirts of town, a motel that Jason kindly paid for. Tyler realizes he should find this act of chivalry pleasing, but instead it just annoys him: now he _owes_ something to Jason, more than just sex, and he doesn't like owing anything to anyone…technically he's indebt to Jason.

The sex was good, o good Tyler's still shaking slightly trying to recover.

Jason had pounced on him the second they entered the room, his hands grabbing at Tyler's clothes, his mouth demanding and harsh. He had shoved Tyler hard into the bed and Tyler had allowed himself to be manhandled. He wasn't sure why… but Tyler kind'a liked it…being controlled…it was oddly hot.

Jason had yanked off his boxers and jeans and then proceeded to blow him. Tyler grips the sheets with white knuckles to keep from floating off of the bed. _Holy shit _did Jason know how to give good head, it made Tyler curious about his sexual encounters. Well, not curious enough to ask, asking would just break the magic of the mood and Tyler _really_ needed to get off. After the phenomenal blow-job, Jason had ridden him…_hard_. Christ was it good though. Tyler watched Jason face as they fucked and it had given him a whole new perspective to what they were doing and Jason himself.

Jason's face was oddly beautiful when he was blissed out of his mind: eyes squeezed shut, his plump bottom lip bruised from where he had bitten into it, back arched and smooth muscled skin glowing with perspiration. Yes, in those moments of ecstasy, Jason was beautiful to Tyler.

However, once the sex was over…so was the magical connection and they went right back to just being fuck buddies…..nothing else. Only as Jason had gazed at him with something suspiciously close to love while trailing his finger almost tenderly down Tyler's chest, Tyler realizes something is happening….something he doesn't like. There's a shift happening in this arrangement, one that needs to stop…. _Immediately_. It sounds like Jason is asking him out on a date with his 'I wanna take you somewhere sometime' bullshit, _no_, this is not acceptable. Jason is totally breaking rules…_not_ cool.

Tyler mumbles an something about needing to go, only Jason, thinking he's cute or some shit tries to stop him by kissing him. It works…for a few minutes Tyler thinks maybe he could go another round but as soon as he opens his eyes Jeremy Gilbert's freshly fucked face peers at him through warm brown eyes and Tyler gasps for air and freaks out.

Tyler jerks back and shoves Jason away from him, Jason gives a sound of protest but Tyler isn't really listening. All he can hear is the drumming of his own heart from the increased adrenaline. _What the fuck is wrong_ _with me? _he asks himself, along with _why does this keep happening….why won't it stop? _

Tyler is dressing quickly, his back turned away from Jason who is annoyingly persistent with his questions of 'what's wrong?' but Tyler can't deal with him right now or his hurt and confused expression. He needs to get out _now_.

He stuffs in feet clumsily into his shoes, hastily buttons his pants and has half his jacket on as his hand reaches the doorknob when Jason calls out to him.

"I don't get you Lockwood, I really don't. "

Tyler turns around: Jason is sitting up his back against the headboard his expression dangerously close to pity. Tyler fucking hates that look, he makes him feel pathetic and like a loser. His father already believes he's a loser; he doesn't need Jason thinking it too.

"We're not here to understand each other, we're here to get off, which we did….so that's it…noth'n more to get" Tyler replies, his voice hard and low

He's so _not_ in the mood for this. However, fucking Jason is still persistent.

" So I take it you're not interested in my offer to take you somewhere…" Jason says his voice trailing off at the ice cold expression Tyler's wearing

"What part of 'we're here _just_ to get off' do you _not_ understand?" asks Tyler angrily

"It would only be for a burger and fries ya know…..two guys eating together won't look suspicious…..we'll go to some diner away from town and….."

Tyler pouches. He doesn't know why he responses in this way, he should've just walked out but Jason's really pissing off and besides…..Tyler's never been good at just walking away or turning the other cheek when he's mad.

Jason is surprised by this act momentarily but he quickly recovers and curls his body against Tyler's angry ridged one.

"Look, we're here to fuck and that's it. Stop making this into more than it is…more than it should be. We're not friends, we're not dating, we're just…"

"Fucking…yeah, I head you" says Jason cutting him off quickly

Tyler hadn't noticed but their faces are mere inches a part and Jason had somehow managed to sneak his legs sensuously over Tyler's hips, affectively pinning him to his naked body. This position is most inconvenient as Tyler was now having to fight to keep his erection at bay. God damn Jason.

"We're here to fuck and that's it" says Tyler now slowly grinding his hips into Jason, his voice a low purr, his lips just hovering above Jason's. Jason's tongue peeks out from between his lips and gently licks at Tyler's top lip.

"You won't even"…_gasp…"_consider it?" asks Jason, his breath hitching mid-sentence as the hip grinding has gotten more precise in its accuracy

Tyler doesn't respond. He leans his head in and captures Jason in a passionate and hungry kiss. Tyler nips and bites down the side of Jason's face and neck, he buries his face deep into Jason's neck and allows himself into sink into the selfish fantasy of necking Jeremy Gilbert.

When Tyler leaves an hour later, it's late and he gets into his car to hurry home. Maybe if he's lucky he'll be home before his father, he's so _not _in the mood to deal with his father…sober or not.

On the drive back home he dares a little introspection, something he typically avoids if he can, and thinks on just what in the hell he's doing. It takes only a second for him to realizes that introspects require a serious in-depth look at one's self and one's motives….he's _not_ interested in questioning himself. Questions lead to analyzing and analyzing leads to grey and dangerous territory…..the uncertain and unknown.

_Fuck that _Tyler thinks. Here's what he knows for certain: he likes what he's doing and Tyler has never been good at denying himself anything that he likes.

There must be an angel of mercy watching out for Tyler when he gets home: his dad isn't back yet and his mother is already in bed. He immediately goes to his room and flops into bed half dressed. Just before he passes out a strange thought crosses his mind: _would a burger and fries with Jason really hurt?_

"What the _fuck_ is this shit Tyler?" bellows his father at him across the kitchen island the following morning. His father found his paper with the C- and needless to say, he's thoroughly displeased.

There really isn't much for Tyler to confirm or deny, his father is holding the proof in his clenched fist looking like he's about to combust. Tyler knows that no matter what he says or does it isn't going to improve the situation. The only option he has is to take…..no matter how bad. And he does, he takes all of it: the screaming, the slamming fists, the flecks of spit flying randomly in his face, the names and worst of all….the hard slap across the face and the look of utter disgust on his father's now purple face.

"Get to school…and fix this" says his father flinging the now crumpled paper in his face.

Tyler get in his car and drives about a mile before he is forced to pull over by the overwhelming wave of emotion that plows through him. He tries to hold it in, he fights it with all his strength….but he can't seem to stop the single tear that slides wetly down his reddened cheek. With a shaking hand he gets out his cell phone and texts Jason.

Jason, of course, shows up with out question and gets into Tyler's car. Tyler decides he doesn't care if he's late to school, he just needs to forget temporarily about everything and pulls Jason into the back seat and tugs Jason on top of him whispering two words in a barely audible voice: 'touch me.'

Jason does and Tyler closes his eyes and the world melts into grey.

Afterwards, when Tyler glances at his cell phone and realizes he's already missed his first class and that going to school is pointless at this point, he turns to face Jason who is zipping up his pants and debates asking him what he wants to ask. After all it would just seem hypocritical at this point….wouldn't it?

"Hungry?" asked Tyler, trying to keep his voice casual

Jason looks up, he blinks and looks confused before realization dawns and then he smiles.

"Sure" is his easy reply

The diner is small and smells of grease, but as they eat their burgers and share the fries, Tyler can't help but blush as Jason smiles shyly at him from across the table.

**AN**: So…..how am I doing thus far? Does this progression make sense? Does Tyler sound like Tyler? I'm not used to people reading my work….so….i'm a little self conscious (blushes)

Anyways, I love the reviews, so keep it up! Cheers!


	3. Chapter 3

His Secret

Chap 3

Disclaimer: don't own it

Warnings: M

Tyler's View Point

The party is loud and smoky, the music's abrasive and migraine inducing and the air is thick with the smell of cheap beer, sweat and weed. Tyler doesn't want to be here.

But he's Tyler Lockwood: he's a jock and he's popular; being a partier is required of him.

Tyler's at Jake Thompson's house: a mega jock in the making. He's a freshman who just joined the team recently and he's not half bad, but he's an ass kisser and major suck up: he's willing to do whatever it takes to be cool and accepted. Tyler almost feels a little bad for him, the team totally takes advantage of Jake and his obvious need to please.

Tyler originally had no intension of coming to this stupid party, his plan tonight included being alone in his room with his earphones and maybe to share a joint and have quick fuck with Jason by the woodshed. But just kidding…he's here instead; a beer in one hand and a foul express plastered on his face. In his peripheral vision he sees Lizzie Roberts eyeing him with flirty blue eyes.

She's pretty but not too bright and from he's heard of her…she's easy.

Besides Tyler isn't interested anyways, and if he analyzes _why_ that is right now he might just go crazy so he doesn't. He just tells himself he doesn't fuck girls anymore who have reputations for being sluts.

He sees her coming over and he quickly abandons his spot by the wall and heads outside. Thankfully she doesn't follow.

The air is cool and crisp and Tyler pulls his jacket closer. He stands there, under the porch light and stares upwards towards the velvety black sky, he's surprised to see it's a starless night. It makes the sky look so big and intimidating.

He hears a faint rustling sound around the corner of the house, curiosity gets the better of him and he cautiously peeks around the corner and gets an eye full.

Jeremy Gilbert has his face buried in Myra Bradwell's neck. One arm is around her waist, holding her close to him while his hands digs deep into her honey colored curls. The girl is practically purring with pleasure as Jeremy suckles at her swan like neck. His hand trails with precise determination till he reaches her perky butt, which he grabs and pulls her even closer to him. Myra doesn't seem to mind as she gently cards her fingers through his unkept shaggy locks.

Tyler turns away as quickly as he can breathing silently but deeply through his nose. It's too much. The one person on the planet he would give anything to touch is less than a foot from him, swapping spit with an exceptionally pretty girl. His heart is pounding with rage, jealously and fear. _God_ how he wants to turn the corner and toss Myra aside so he can pin Jeremy to the wall and fuck him senseless.

_Jesus Christ, _that line of thinking does nothing good, now he's got an erection, one that's steadily growing bigger. _Shit _

He could call Jason, he reasons, but no , shit, he forgot…Jason's got some family thing, sent him text earlier saying he was busy and couldn't meet up…he's the reason Tyler's here to begin with. Well, fuck.

So, now he's in a real predicament: he's bored, lonely, at a shitty party, is currently sporting a massive boner and to top it all off…..he can hear _everything_ that's happening just around the corner from him…which only makes his erection worse.

From the sounds of it they're both kissing….and really enjoying it if all the gasps and moans are any indication.

Tyler makes a quick decision, he needs to get rid of the boner and needs to get out'a here….fast. So with one quick look around (there's no one) he shoves his hand down into his jeans and past his underwear. The second his hand makes contact with his hot, heavy and slightly damp flesh he lets out a slight gasp. He knows he needs to make this quick so he starts with a fast paced rhythm and lets the sounds of Jeremy's moans and gasps pull him into an orgasm.

He can't believe he's doing this, where anyone could see him, but he can't help it. He can't be around Jeremy…it's just too hard. _Too hard, ha ha _ he thinks to himself, laughing at his own unintended pun.

Tyler feels the familiar warm tingle behind his balls and with a few well place tugs, and listening to Jeremy's husky grunts of pleasure, he comes. The orgasm only provides pleasure for a few seconds before the mortification sets in and he's forced to confront the fact he just jerked off against the side of someone's house while listening to the someone else make out. He feels like a creeper and a freak. So he hastily puts himself back together and heads for his car.

Once he's safely inside he breathes deeply and puts on the radio. He drives home with the windows rolled all the way down and the radio blasting…..it's getting to be far too loud in his head these days, he needs to drown out the noise somehow.

Jeremy's View Point

He's not stupid, nor is he unobservant, Jeremy sees things that others don't. One thing in particular that has recently caught his attention is Tyler Lockwood: Mystic Falls super jock and local bad boy. Only recently he hasn't been his usually douchebag self….he's been quieter and more anti-social than Jeremy's ever seen him. Also, he's noticed that Tyler stares at him a lot, like a _lot_, only his expression isn't the same 'I wanna kick your ass' look . It's a curious expression, sometimes it's even _hungry_ looking, it's weird, but he can feel Tyler's eyes on him constantly. Does he say anything…of course not, that would just be asking for a fight. But it's certainly intriguing.

But after tonight, after he sees Tyler watching him and Myra making out…and he _doesn't leave _Jeremy knows that something is going on…..

Although, _nothing_ prepared him for the sight of Tyler jerking off while watching them….that was…well…._that_ was _something_…

Jeremy is certain Tyler had no idea that Jeremy could see him, he hadn't given any indication that he had, he just kept kissing Myra, who was so wrapped up in kissing him back she didn't notice Tyler either. So he watched Tyler out of the corner of his eye and was thoroughly shocked and intrigued to see him stick his hand down his jeans and touch himself while obviously watching and listening in on their session.

Interesting, very interesting.

It's also clear to Jeremy that Tyler was clearly watching _him_ and _not_ Myra, which leads him to all sorts of questions about Tyler. What's even more bizarre to Jeremy is that he _liked_ having Tyler watch him….it was oddly a huge turn on.

Jeremy's not sure why having Tyler watch him doesn't freak him out but it doesn't…..actually, he wouldn't mind if it happened again. Perhaps there's more to Tyler Lockwood than he originally thought….

It's all certainly _very_ intriguing…..

**AN : **well, what do you think? Still good?


	4. Chapter 4

His Secret

Matt's a good guy, that's obvious to everyone. He's caring, compassionate and sincere. He's also very aware of those around him and what they may or may not be telling him. He's a fairly good judge of character and can usually tell when someone's being false with him. Now, just because he _observes_ certain intimate details, doesn't mean he necessarily _says_ anything about it. Case and point: he's best friend Tyler Lockwood.

Tyler is king of personas and pretending, for a guy who acts so tough and macho he's surprisingly afraid of his own shadow. He's uses the typical male bravado and stereotypical masculinity to cover up his weakness and fears….Matt knows this. Matt knows that Mayor Lockwood is really an asshole in disguise, he knows that Mrs. Lockwood has spent such a long time being unhappy that now she's frozen on the inside and Matt knows that Tyler biggest fear is ending up like his parents: in fake happiness with a life that's an illusion.

Matt also knows that Tyler's keeping something from him, he's not quite sure what it is yet, but he knows it's something that causes Tyler shame and embarrassment. He's witnessed the strange change in behavior of his friend: he sees how depressed Tyler has become; how closed off and anti-social. He sees it but he doesn't know what to do about it. Tyler is too proud to ask for help, and Matt is too shy to pry.

Matt cares for Tyler, he cares for him because the guy doesn't seem to care very much for himself.

Tyler functions, but just barely. He's almost robotic in how he moves from day to day activities, he's usual 'I'm hot stuff' smirk and been replaced with a constant glare. He goes to practice, but he's hearts not in it, he goes to class, but he's not really listening. He comes home, but he's a ghost in his own house.

He feels _this close_ to reaching his breaking point….and he's scared about what'll happen afterwards. Meanwhile he continues to have sex with Jason and Jason continues to try and do other things with Tyler besides fucking. It's annoying….and yet, oddly _touching_.

Perhaps it's because Tyler isn't used to people showing genuine interest in him, other than Matt, but he doesn't count. No, Jason seems to _care_ and Tyler isn't sure what to do with that. He keeps telling himself that the sex means nothing, but honestly, how many lies can he tell himself? He looks in the mirror sometimes and wonders 'how long can I keep this up? ' But then his father reminds of what is expected of him, how 'true' Lockwood men behave and how he is constantly missing the mark….how no matter how hard he tries….he'll never be good enough.

There are moments in our lives when our brains scream 'no!' at us but we just ignore the warning bells that go off and do it anyways….Why? Is it the thrill, the spiked adrenaline, the exciting danger of doing something we tell ourselves that we can't or shouldn't do…? Tyler doesn't know. All he knows is he's trying to escape the drunken girl who's obviously desperate to get into his pants and he's desperate to get away.

He's at some party at some jock's house and Bridget Breyer is weaving an unsteady path towards him…_shit_, he needs an escape route….._stairs_….good, that's good. Stairs lead upwards…. and upwards leads to the second floor where there are rooms with doors he can shut….excellent.

So, Tyler makes his quick get away, leaving Bridget in drunken confusion, and goes into the first room on his right. The room's empty and he shuts the door behind him and locks it. Quiet…blissful silence meets his ears and he collapses onto the neatly made bed and closes his eyes. He breathes deeply and the world starts to melt…..

That is until he hears water running and a door open inside the room…..the attached bathroom door opens and out steps Jeremy Gilbert.

_OH **FUCK**!_

Tyler's mind goes blank. This is _not_ good.

Jeremy Gilbert is standing looking at him and he looks _good…..really_ good. Tyler is seriously considering jumping out the window, only problem is….he doesn't remember how to work his limbs. He's just staring at Jeremy with wide eyes trying to remember human speech. Thankfully, Jeremy goes first

"Hi"

Tyler blinks….Jeremy is looking at him expectantly waiting for a reply

"Hey" is all he can muster

The moment is awkward; at least for Tyler who can hardly hear above the obnoxious drum beat of his heart, Jeremy however, looks perfectly calm. It annoys Tyler.

How can Jeremy be so calm when Tyler feels like he's about to combust? Tyler's surprised Jeremy can't smell his sweat.

When Jeremy comes to sit on the bed with Tyler, Tyler feels sparks shoot through him. Jeremy digs in his pocket and pulls out a small baggy with rolling papers and weed.

He opens the bag and hands it to Tyler in a silent offering.

This is the moment Tyler's brain goes 'what the fuck are you doing? This is such a bad idea!' This is also the moment he chooses to turn off his brain and just go with it.

Jeremy rolls a joint and pulls a lighter out of his back pocket and lights it. The sweet smelling smoke weaves a lazy pattern in the air and up Tyler's nose. It makes him dizzy.

20 minutes later, Tyler is stoned, apparently so is Jeremy who seems to have forgotten the meaning of personal space as he lays shoulder to shoulder with Tyler on the bedspread. Tyler feels like he's floating, everything around him feels so good, he turns his head to look at Jeremy's profile but finds himself instead nose to nose with the other boy.

Jeremy is beautiful, there's really no other word to describe him. His unruly hair hangs in his eyes: his lashes are long and silky looking and his eyes sparkle with youth and mischief. His lips look so soft and pink and that smooth face taunts Tyler. He wants to kiss him.

'But you can't, he'll hit you and laugh' says a nasty voice in the back of his head

'Shut _up_…I know!' is Tyler's mental reply

Jeremy is looking at him strangely: the look makes Tyler's heart flutter with want

Jeremy leans his head in slightly and then tilts his head to the side and presses a kiss to the tip of Tyler's nose.

It's fleeting and sends a jolt of electricity through Tyler.

Tyler lies there feeling the warm energy buzz through him, he decides now is the time to be bold and quickly presses a gentle kiss to those tantalizing pink lips.

Before he's able to pull away fully, a hand grabs the back of his head and holds him in place further securing his lips in the kiss.

Something inside of him snaps and suddenly the timid tentative kiss transforms as two pairs of lips latch on with confidence. They kiss like dying men in the desert who've just discovered clean water: they gulp each other down without hesitation. It's like the world has gone from black and white and exploded into Technicolor; the kiss is incredible, tongues dancing and caressing and teeth lightly nipping at plump lips. Tyler maneuvers himself so that he's on top of Jeremy and drags his fingers through Jeremy thick hair. 'It's so fucking soft….how is it so soft….?' Tyler mentally wonders as he tugs gently at the silken locks. It turns out Jeremy is an excellent kisser and he and Tyler have a brief fight for dominance, in the end Jeremy either gives up or realizes it doesn't matter as he allows Tyler to control the kiss. Since Tyler has wanted to do this for a long, godforsaken time, he changes the tempo of the kiss to passionate yet slow. He wants to savor this, before reality hits them both and Jeremy remembers who is kissing him. Jeremy's smell combined with his body heat are intoxicating, making Tyler's head swim with desire. His erection is pressing into Jeremy's thigh and he feel the rapid rise and fall of Jeremy's chest beneath his own. Jeremy wraps his arms around Tyler, pulling closer, bringing their bodies flush together.

Tyler slides his hand down under Jeremy thigh and pulls it over his hip, thus pulling Jeremy's pelvis even closer to his own, he is pleasantly surprised to feel Jeremy erection pressing against his own. The sensation sends giddy jolts of pleasure through his body; it also secures the fact that Jeremy is enjoying this make-out/grope session just as much as he is. Tyler lavishes Jeremy's neck with hot kisses, he sucks on the tender patch of flesh at the base of Jeremy's neck and the spot just behind his ear: he is rewarded by Jeremy's sharp intake of breath and him grinding his hips upwards into Tyler's.

The rest of the world has faded and it's just the two of them: the sounds of the party downstairs have transformed into a low soft buzz of background noise. Tyler can feel Jeremy's warm and slightly moist hands palming his back, shoulders, neck and carding softly through his hair. It's nice. Tyler tastes every corner of the other boys' mouth; his flavor is a pleasant combo of mint, chocolate and weed. Tyler has no idea what he tastes like: it can't be that bad because Jeremy is practically purring into his mouth as he tries to keep up with Tyler. Tyler gets bold and tugs at the hemline of Jeremy's tee shirt, he meets no protest so he slides it upward and with a slightly shaking hand, caresses the soft flesh of Jeremy's flat stomach, Jeremy's eyelids flutter but he doesn't object. Jeremy's skin is warm and it trembles slightly under his fingertips as he skims upward towards to cinnamon colored nipples. Tyler ghosts his touch over the left nipple and brushes it lightly with his thump, the reaction is instant; Jeremy lets out a breathy gasp and arches upward giving silent encouragement for Tyler to do it again. Which he does, harder than before, taking it between his thumb and his forefinger and pinches it…Jeremy moans under him.

Deciding if Jeremy has a thing with his nipples being stimulated then surely he'll like it if Tyler licks at them. He's assumption proves correct; Jeremy grips at Tyler's hair and wraps his legs tightly around Tyler's hips and waist, he continues to grind upward into Tyler's erection. As Tyler occupies his time with lapping and nipping at the erect nubs he thinks to himself how incredible and simply mind boggling this situation is: here he is making out with Jeremy Gilbert; surely this is the most surreal and unbelievable moment of his life. He's been dreaming of this, _craving_ for weeks, and now it's finally happening. There's got to be strings attached to this somehow….good things don't just happen to him out of luck or because the universe suddenly decides to like him….Jeremy Gilbert can't possibly like him back….can he?

Tyler feels Jeremy's hands at the back of his tee shirts hem line, slowly tugging it upwards over his back, he shivers at the touch but doesn't stop it from happening. Tyler is afraid if he breaks the kissing to remove the shirt that the magic of weed induced kiss will stop, but his fears prove to be unfounded as Jeremy simply yanks it over his head and latches his mouth onto Tyler's neck. Suddenly Tyler finds himself on his back while Jeremy pulls his own shirt over his head and settles himself between Tyler's legs. Well, this move certainly takes Tyler by surprise, not that he's displeased with it, quite the contrary. Jeremy starts a determined but slow rhythm of grinding into Tyler's erection. Tyler has given up all hope of control and thrusts upward with desperation…he _really _needs to get off. God does it feel incredible. Tyler snakes a hand between their bodies and gently cups at Jeremy's tenting pants, Jeremy moans into Tyler's neck and gives a good hard thrust into the warm palm. Tyler blindly searches for the zipper of Jeremy's jeans while he leans his head back to expose more of his neck to Jeremy's hot persistent mouth. Successfully locating it, Tyler yanks it down and digs his hand passed the folds of fabric and meets hot damp flesh. He switches his and Jeremy's current position and lands Jeremy on his back while he grips the hot swollen flesh and tugs. Jeremy moans deep in his throat and bucks his hips. Jeremy tries to go for Tyler's erection but is prevented by Tyler who grabs his hands and with some effort, pins them above the other boys head.

It's time to get serious, Tyler decides, as he tugs as Jeremy while simultaneously grinding his aching erection into Jeremy's hip. The combination of hot kisses with lavishing tongues and the tug and grind of their movements proves to be too much and both boys climax together moaning and gasping into each others mouths, Tyler squeezes his eyes tightly and sees black spots dancing behind his lids. Jeremy's seed spills over Tyler's tightly griped fist and Tyler's own spunk splashing the inside of his boxers, soaking them. Tyler muscles relax and his body goes limp, his face is buried in the crook of Jeremy sweaty neck and he can hear Jeremy breathing deeply in his ear.

After a moment or two of basking in the after glow of his orgasm, and the fact he gave Jeremy a pretty intense one as well, reality comes crashing down upon him leaving him feeling fearful and exposed. In one sweeping movement he removes his hand from Jeremy's unbuttoned fly and sits stiffly on the edge of the bed. He runs a hand over his face, he can smell Jeremy's cum all over his hand, his lips are puffy and slightly swollen from the rather aggressive kissing and his boxers are clinging to him most uncomfortably…..he needs to get out. He chances a glance at Jeremy who is watching him with a curious expression. His now limp cock is hanging out of jeans still and Tyler really wishes he'd zip up. He looks annoying sexy laying there with no shirt and his pants undone. The silence stretches on as nether boy says anything, but finally Jeremy sits up and tucks himself back into his jeans.

"Well…that was some good weed" says Jeremy smirking slightly as he tugs on his tee shirt. Tyler is not amused by this; he can almost feel his defensive walls clicking back into place and he tugs his own shirt back on and goes for the door. He can still hear the party going on. With his hand on the door he speaks in his most authoritative and threatening voice.

"Tell anyone about this and you're a dead man"

And with out looking back at Jeremy's expression, he turns the door handle and leaves.

His mind is strangely blank as he heads towards his car, he sure he'll feel panic and shock later, but currently all he feels is the best fucking release of his life.

**AN: my dear freaky darlings, it's been far too long since my last update….for that I sincerely apologize; life has a way of getting in the way doesn't it? Anyways, I hope this next chapter is up to everyone's standards…..**

**To all those reviewing: I remain deeply grateful and truly honored and flattered….please keep it up. You all are the reason I do this to begin with. So, please let me know what you think and I'll feel loved and special **

**Well, I best be off then working on the next chapter! TTFN**

**Oh and before I forget: a HUGE thank you to BellaDonna24 for being my beta and a divine lovely human being….much love to you my darling, without you and your encouragement I'd be utterly lost. **

**Also, another thank you to Jaxon666~ you inspire me, so thank you**

**Cheers loves! **


	5. Chapter 5

His Secret Part 5

Disclaimer: Don't own anything other than my own original characters

Rating: no sex in this one, just discussions and past mentions of sex….sorry. The next one will be much hotter.

Unlike most other boys, Jeremy isn't really bothered when it comes to issues of sexuality. He doesn't think about it much, to him attraction is just attraction… regardless of who the person is; he doesn't let petty things like someone's gender or sexual orientation bother him. However, living in a small, tightly knit southern town has many drawbacks, two of the biggest being that everyone knows everyone else's business and that progressive views are hard to come by. Mystic Falls is no different, but this doesn't stop Jeremy, who does whatever he wants regardless of what's socially acceptable. For example, his make out and grope session with Tyler Lockwood at last weekend's party: Jeremy's not ashamed or embarrassed that this happened. Quite the opposite actually, he wouldn't mind if it happened again. Ever since Jake Thompson's party Jeremy has been watching Tyler more carefully…the guy is practically a seething tower of tension these days; everything from his facial expressions to his body language suggests that he's pissed off. And after the 'encounter', Jeremy gets why; the guy is totally repressed sexually, he might as well be wearing a sexual straight jacket.

Jeremy wasn't surprised that Tyler bolted afterwards, but he was disappointed. He would have gladly reciprocated if Tyler hadn't fled. Obviously Tyler didn't share Jeremy forward thinking views on sex. Tyler was not the first guy that Jeremy had been with and he wouldn't be the last and by judging Tyler's 'skills', Jeremy guessed that he wasn't Tyler's first either. Tyler had been so sure and confident with his movements, there had been almost no hesitation, which had surprised and pleased Jeremy. Obviously the weed had loosened them up a little but they weren't so stoned as to not have their wits about them. They had both known what they were doing; the act had been fully consensual. Jeremy doesn't regret it in the slightest but he knows that Tyler does. This leaves him feeling hallow and sad, more for Tyler than himself.

_It was a huge mistake, it never should of happened….yet…..it _had _been_ incredible_. Could a mistake be incredible_?

These were the thoughts buzzing in Tyler's brain come Monday morning. After making out and feeling up Gilbert, he'd gone home feeling lighted headed and amazing, it wasn't until he woke up from a wet dream about that nights pervious events that he felt a tidal wave of fear and uncertainty. When it had been happening Tyler hadn't been using his head, well, at least not the one on his shoulders. It had been impossible to resist though; a trembling, obviously aroused Jeremy panting beneath him and sweating, begging for his touch; he had been helpless in the heat of the passion.

Yet, now he was forced to face the repercussions of his ill thought out actions; he had to attend school with Gilbert. He'd forgotten that bit. What if Jeremy told someone? What if that someone told someone else? What if by lunch the whole school was talking about it? Shit….he'd seriously fucked himself over with this one. The entire rest of the day he was nervous and shaky, by lunch he was in a full-fledged panic, he kept waiting for something dramatic to happen. He wasn't sure what exactly…but he knew it would be bad.

Only, nothing did happen. Lunch came and everything was as it always had been, except….Jeremy kept watching him. He face was calm and contemplative. Tyler wished he'd stop staring, it was making him blush which might draw attention. But his teammates didn't seem to notice anything and when lunch finally ended, Tyler couldn't have been more relieved.

Jeremy had spent the majority of his lunch period watching Tyler; it was obvious the guy knew he was looking due to the faint pink flush across his smooth cheeks. Tyler looked good in his football jacket and jeans; he also looked incredibly tense with his back hunched over and his left foot twitching under the table. It was like he was waiting for a disaster to happen, what did he think Jeremy was going to do? Announce to the whole cafeteria that he and Tyler and made out and that Tyler had jerked him off? Jeremy wasn't the cruel malicious type, even though Tyler was a complete dick most of the time, Jeremy wouldn't out him like that.

When the bell rang for the end of lunch, Tyler couldn't leave fast enough, he dashed ahead of his team mates, shoulder's hunched and face set in a scowl.

The rest of the day passed as it typically did for Jeremy; he half listened to the teachers' lectures all the while doodling. When the hallways flooded with students leaving, Jeremy carefully walked a few yards behind Tyler who was practically bulldozing his way through the swarming mass of students. Jeremy cautiously followed him to his car, when Tyler was digging for his keys is when he finally made his presence known.

"Hey."

Tyler dropped his keys spinning around, eyes wide with surprise

"_Christ_! Fuck Gilbert you almost gave me a heart attack!" yelped Tyler clutching at his chest

"Sorry…. Um….hi." Jeremy said awkwardly, scratching behind his ear with discomfort

Tyler looked incredulous briefly before rearranging his features back into their usual scowl.

"As stimulating as this conversation is I need to go…..so if you don't mind…" said Tyler with a sneer turning back to his car

" I had fun with you that night." The words came tumbling out of Jeremy's mouth before he could stop them

Tyler froze, he slowly turned around, all the color had drained from his face.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." said Tyler through gritted teeth.

_Really? Very convincing Tyler….._ thought Jeremy with a mental smirk

"You may be a jock Tyler, but don't play dumb like one." Said Jeremy. Let Tyler play this game, fine, but Jeremy wasn't going to.

"_What_ did you just say to me?" said Tyler his voice having dropped to a threatening growl, he took a step towards Jeremy, who surprisingly didn't flinch or step back

" I _said _don't play stupid with me, it's totally beneath you….however, I wouldn't mind being in _that_ position again….." Jeremy practically purred the last part. Tyler's ear's reddened

"What the _fuck_ Gilbert? What the hell are you on? What makes you think it's okay to say shit like that to me? What are you….some kind'a fag?" Said Tyler taking a step back from Jeremy, his eyes wide and the blush creeping onto his cheeks.

Jeremy just shrugged. This seemed to outrage Tyler.

"What does _that_ mean? You don't know? How can you not know something like that?" said Tyler, his voice steadily rising with each word

" I could ask you the same thing, and I don't see why it should matter honestly. It felt really good, we both liked it and I'd like for it to happen again…..wouldn't you?"

Tyler looked dumbstruck with his mouth hanging slack and his expression a mixture of shock and confusion. He couldn't seem to collect his thought quick enough to reject Jeremy's come on so Jeremy took the situation into his own hands.

"Here's my number, text me if you change your mind" said Jeremy grabbing Tyler's hand and scribbling his number on his palm

Without another word Jeremy turned, put his head phones on and walked calmly away, leaving Tyler gaping like a fish staring in disbelief at his palm.

Tyler's head was spinning, could it be possible? _Really, truly possible_? Jeremy just hit on him and gave him his number…..surely this wasn't real. Yet the evidence in his palm stated the contrary….

Did he want it to happen again? Well, _duh_, but with every step in this direction it was leading down a path he wasn't sure he wanted to be on or associated with. He couldn't keep wearing the façade of the super straight super jock much longer when he was secretly fucking guys on the side, could he? Jeremy's come on was both the most exciting thing and the most terrifying thing Tyler had ever encountered. Yes, he wanted to fuck Gilbert, like_ really _badly, but what about Jason?

Wait. Since when did he care about Jason? He didn't…..did he?

_Christ_…..when did this get so fucking complicated? All he wanted was to get off, not dealing with a love triangle. Why couldn't he fuck both? Tyler was used to having his own way, maybe if he played this right he _could_ have them both. It's not like they were all friends who hung out together, Jason and Jeremy never had to know about one another. Jason was a good fuck and Tyler suspected that Jeremy would be too. Yes, he could do this. He could have his cake and eat it too, so to speak. Why not, right? It was just sex, he wasn't engaged to either of them and had made no promises nor commitments…he was still a free agent with the freedom to fuck whomever he wanted.

Tyler got into his car, started the engine and stared down at his palm one last time before putting the number into his phone. This would work, it would. As long as he played it right, he could have both boys whenever he wanted, a great lay each night of the week.

Just thinking of the prospects of this new endeavor got Tyler excited. He briefly stared into the back seat where he and Jason had made out and fucked loads of times and a new image of Jeremy riding his cock, or sucking it or on his stomach, ass in the air, or on his back, legs in the air…...oh, the options were endless.

With each passing minute, Tyler was feeling confident this would be a wet dream come true. With a smirk in place and delicious thoughts of Jeremy fogging his brain, Tyler turned on the radio and headed home. Things were looking up finally.

**AN**: Pleased don't shoot me for taking so bloody long to get this done! I've had other shit going on recently not to mention writers block…..which is hell by the way. I hope this chapter is up to everyone standards of perfect Jyler-ness…..if not, let me know. Just send me a message and I'll try better with the next go around. Cheers to all those who take the time to review, it makes me feel loved and happy. This wasn't edited by my beta, just me, so please forgive and forget any mistakes. Cheers.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowing temporarily

Rating: M…I know all you Jyler perv's are doing your happy dance right now **( **joins in)

_Meet me in 15 at the school parking lot- T_

Tyler's thumb is poised over the send button of his cell phone. His palms are a sweaty mess and he feels a nervous energy buzzing all through him. He's sitting in his bed propped up against the head board contemplating that _this _is _really_ about to happen; he's about to text Jeremy Gilbert and hook up with him in the abandoned school parking lot. It's Wednesday night, his dads not home ( thank _God_ for that) and he's mother is at some book club and won't be back until late…..so he's covered. Tyler feels an excitement that he hasn't felt in a long time, a sort of positive anticipation of the things to come. Yeah, he's ready for this, he's been ready for this and it all starts with the push of a button.

So he does. He watches as the little letter symbol floats to the mail box and repeats itself before the word 'sent' flashes at him. Well, it's done. He can't take it back now. All there is to do now is wait and see if Jeremy responses. And 5 minutes later he does.

_On my way_

Adrenaline shoots through Tyler as he stares at the returned text message. Without a further thought he grabs a couple of condoms from the nightstand next to his bed, snatches up his car keys and dashes down the stairs bounding up towards his car and flinging himself into the drivers seat.

He drives faster than he should, windows rolled down so that chilly air blows in his face and forces him to focus on the road and not the pornographic images that flash through his mind.

The school looks vaguely eerie at night; the windows black and reflective of the street lamps. Tyler drives slowly into the deserted parking lot, his eyes straining in the dark for signs of Jeremy's car. Finally he spots it, but just barely as his headlights are off. Jeremy leans on his car looking casual in jeans, sneakers and a hoodie, he almost looks comfortable. Parking his car next to Jeremy's he takes a few deep breaths while reminding himself of how fortunate he is for this stroke of good luck.

For a few seconds both boys just stare at each other, both trying to gauge the mood of the other and the moment itself. The silence is somewhat tense.

Tyler feels like he's losing his nerve, he wants this _so much_ but is terrified to say the wrong thing or do something foolish. Jeremy seems to feel a bit more confidence as he straightens up and speaks first.

" Nice car, it looks new."

"Yeah, it is" replies Tyler, trying desperately to keep his voice steady

" Can I see the inside?" asks Jeremy, his voice has a husky flirtatious rasp to it; it sends a shiver down Tyler spine.

If that isn't invitation enough, Tyler doesn't know what is, he takes a step closer to Jeremy who looks at him expectantly. Tyler takes another step forward until they're nose to nose, with slightly trembling limbs, pulls Jeremy towards him. Jeremy is warm in his arms and when he feels Jeremy's finger tips caress up over his arms and back until they collide into his hair he spares one last thought to thank whatever divine powers are at work for making this moment real before he crashes his mouth onto the full soft lips in front of him.

Jeremy tastes so_ good_, maybe Tyler will stop eating sugar all together and just text Jeremy when he needs a sugar fix; the boys lips and tongue taste so sweet.

With each passing second Tyler gains confidence in the kiss and he pulls Jeremy's body even closer and takes control. Jeremy is just slightly taller than himself, but it hardly matters as he more than makes up for it with being more muscular. Jeremy is practically wrapping his body around Tyler's, Tyler has a arm wrapped around Jeremy's middle and somehow manages to open the side door to his cars backseat. With quickly tangling limbs and urgent mouths, they make it into the back seat where Tyler scrambles to get on top of Jeremy. Jeremy doesn't seem too bothered with the dominant and submissive roles as Tyler is; he easily lets it happen and rearranges himself so his limbs are clutched around Tyler's hard body.

Jeremy's a good kisser, Tyler remembers this from the last time, but what he doesn't remember is that fantastic thing Jeremy can do with his tongue, or that Jeremy has a spot directly behind his right ear that's particularly sensitive. They kiss and kiss, hell, with the way Jeremy tastes Tyler could kiss him forever and not get bored. His mouth is smooth and warm, his lips are so soft and full and those hands…_Christ _those hands! Tyler can feel them everywhere, they stroke and caress, they pull and tug and they leave burning trials of pleasure all over Tyler's body.

"I owe you" says Jeremy suddenly, his voice breathy and ragged as Tyler's tongue drags up his strong neck and sucks at the pulse point.

"For what?" asks Tyler between sucks and kisses on the perfect neck

"Last time" says Jeremy and then without hesitation flips them so Tyler's on his back. The move surprises him and he pants a little. Jeremy leans over him and grinds his hips into Tyler's, he can feel the erection firm and shapely in Jeremy's jeans. Jeremy kisses him deeply, lightly sucking on his tongue before he releases his mouth and starts tugging his tee shirt up his stomach. Excitement and surprise fill Tyler at Jeremy boldness. Jeremy ducks his head and with sure hands pulls the thin tee shirt all the way up and over Tyler's nipples.

The second Tyler feels the wet, gently lapping tongue on his pecks his head falls backwards onto the seat and he lets out a long groan of pleasure. _Damn_ does it feel _good_; the lightly nipping teeth and the soothing tongue and gentle lips all combined into a prefect blend on his chest is almost too much for Tyler to take. That is until he feels the talented mouth leave a hot trail down his chest and stop at his belly button. The tongue then dips into the small indentation in the taut skin and sucks and nipples gently, teasing the area.

Tyler worries his brain might short circuit with pleasure, he's been trying and failing to control his breathing; he writhes in pleasure while Jeremy continues his assault on his flesh. Tyler's eyes pop open when he feels his pants being undone. The zipper comes down slowly and Tyler's breath hitches up several octaves as his jeans are pulled apart to reveal his straining erection barely concealed in his boxers.

He totally forgets to breath as he watches Jeremy lower his head and pull down the waist band of his underwear and with warm gentle hands and remove his red and pulsing erection. Tyler hisses slightly as the cool air of the car hits his extremely sensitive organ.

But then it doesn't matter; nothing does after Jeremy starts to lightly suck at the tip. The world suddenly narrows down to just Jeremy. Tyler's had blow jobs before, loads of them, most recently he's been receiving them from Jason, who's pretty good, but Jeremy's _better_. That fantastic he did with his tongue in Tyler's mouth suddenly transfers to sucking Tyler's cock and the second Tyler feels it he wants more….._immediately_.

With shaking hands he laces his hands gently into Jeremy's hair and presses lightly on his head, Jeremy somehow understands what he's asking for and does it again and again. Tyler's not really one for grunting or moaning…but right now it's all he can do. When Jeremy sucks him down to almost his pubic hair, Tyler nearly bites his bottom lip into two. Jeremy not just talented: he's a fucking _pro_ at giving head and somewhere in the back of Tyler mind, the part that isn't over come in the fog of pleasure, he wonder's how many other guys Jeremy's been with. You can't be that good at sucking cock and have no pervious experience; Tyler rationalizes.

Tyler can feel he's close to coming, his legs feel like jelly and he feels the familiar delicious tingle behind his testicles. He figures it be rude to flood Jeremy with his spunk so he tries to push Jeremy away as the sensations of the upcoming orgasm creep closer. But Jeremy won't move, his lips stay firmly attached to Tyler's tip and keep lavishing it with his tongue. It only takes a few more well placed flutterings of tongue over his extra sensitive tip before his labored breathing cuts off, his fingers dig into Jeremy's shoulders and dots of bright color dance behind his tightly shut eye lids. Everything fades to white then slowly to grey in his mind and the world is nothing more than a soft humming buzz in his ears.

He blinks, once, twice and a third time before the world comes back into focus. Jeremy is looking down at him looking thoroughly pleased with himself.

Tyler sits up slightly, leaning in his elbows, he can feel sweat cooling on his forehead and stomach.

"_wow_…that was….._where_ did you _learn_ that?" asks Tyler panting, trying to regain breathing normally.

Jeremy doesn't answer, but Tyler can see his erection is gone and he's curious as to how, wasn't what they just did pretty hot, hell, _very _hot? Jeremy follows his line of vision and just shrugs.

"I jerked off," he explains, but this doesn't help ease Tyler's discomfort in the fact that only he achieved an incredible orgasm.

"Why didn't you just wait, I would've done _much_ more than just that for you" says Tyler, his voice husky and deep after his orgasm. He leans up and captures Jeremy's slightly swollen lips in a kiss, he can taste himself in Jeremy's mouth but it doesn't really bother him….in fact, it's a turn on.

"Next time," replies Jeremy deepening the kiss while tucking Tyler back into his jeans and zips and re-buttons them. Tyler is surprised to find how thoughtful and considerate Jeremy is sexually. Both boys kiss some more and then Jeremy glances at the time on the cars dashboard and pecks Tyler one last time before opening to car door to the chilly night and climbs out.

Tyler follows him and watches as Jeremy does up his fly and opens his car door. Jeremy is totally at ease with what just happened, he's almost behaving like he does this every day or at least very often. There is nothing awkward in his body language, he confidently gets back in his car and starts the engine, sends a wink and small smile Tyler's before shouting quickly

"Text me."

Then he 's gone with a roar of his engine and a flash of headlights. Tyler's alone now in the parking lot, this experience has been both mind blowing and bizarre. Jeremy Gilbert just gave him a blow-job and wants it to happen _again_. There's no other way for Tyler to interpret 'text me' except for it to mean: 'let me know when you want to fool around again, I'm up for it'.

With shaky limbs and a rapidly beating heart, Tyler gets back into his own car, which now reeks of sex, and decides to take the long way home, he wants to savor this moment. A moment where for the first time in a long while; things are fucking fantastic.

**AN**:well? how was this update? decent? up to par? let me know your thoughts and we'll work from there. cheers to all those reviewing, i really appreciate it. This wasn't edited by my beta, so if there are any mistakes...sorry. I did my best editing job that I could, but I'm sure i missed stuff. so, kindly read over it and leave me a lovely review :-)

cheers,

bb1019


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